Online Dating – The Beginning

How easy it looks, a couple clicks and fast reading can lead you to someone you never thought you would meet. Someone that looks so “out of your league” that you got to do it, you need to send them a message right there, right now! But no, “hold your horses” for just one more minute! First things first, you don’t want to blow it right of the bat. Let’s sit back and think for a moment, analyse every single piece of text this outstanding person wrote, in the hopes that you, their future one and only, read it and feel that human connection that happens once in a life time; okay, maybe twice.

Grab a pen and some paper; relate each topic like you were doing research about the impact of women not wearing skirts every day. Now, how are you going to start your message? Studies show that a warm “Hi, how is it going?” takes the best results, although, probably studies also show that many people start their messages with those exact words already; you don’t want to be just another average man/woman that has no creativity, do you? You need to take their attention right from the start, so gather the whole creativity inside you and concentrate it on this message, this might change your future until you stop breathing one day (unless you believe in life after death, if you do, good for you).

How do people actually create a deeper connection nowadays? Especially on online dating. Perhaps shared interests? Possibly similar past experiences? That certainly helps, but it won’t help as much as you expect in the long run, if that’s what you’re looking for. If you’re trying hard to create a deeper connection with someone, you must stop doing and thinking about that today. Pursuing something that it is not reachable by just your own will, unfortunately does not work as intended. I wouldn't say it cannot work, but you’ll probably just waste your energy against all odds. A connection of this type happens naturally, and it might not be instantaneous like you might think it is, a naturally built connection is stronger than anything.

On a more a serious note than in some of the past sentences, everyone you’ll encounter online is different, just like in the real world, even though sometimes it doesn't look like it, for the reason that, usually, everything is framed in a very shallow way. It is true that you should take the time to look at their entire profile, but never overdo or overthink anything, you might end up too scared, too intimidated, or, in some cases underrate the other person in question and overrate yourself, we have all been there. In the end, the differences between the whole online world and the real one are not so distant, people are, they make it different, either on their behavior, confidence, attitudes towards others and much more. Your approach shouldn't be that different either, obviously the paths are distinct, but they come together along the way. Hopefully you will soon find out on which side you are and/or should be, this is definitely not for everyone.

Remember that originality is not death, nor its understanding. Don’t be standard, nor act as you are, like our own world does. More to come.